My Life In South Carolina

Saturday we lost power for about three hours for some unexplained reason. I called the power company to register my displeasure with the whole situation and got the polite recording that told me they’re aware of it and are working to resolve the matter as quickly as possible.

This is no consolation to me! I know you’re working on it, but tell me why it’s out so I can decide how long it will take. I may need to make arrangements, you know?

It was off long enough to make me sweat while sitting still, so that was way to long. All I need is a case of swamp ass. I mean really!

The power fixin’ guy finally rolled up in a huge truck, and got out with his power fixin’ equipment, so I went out to speak with him and found out that our house was the only one affected for some reason. I don’t understand that but that’s the way it was laid out to me, and I have no reason to not believe him. The power’s back on now  so that’s all that matters.

This week I started recording reruns of Hee Haw on the ol’ DVR. Do you remember this show. (For those of you not old enough click the link.)

I remember watching it every Saturday when I spent the night at my grandparents house, and thought it was pretty lame. If you can get by some of the corny jokes it’s a great show, but I guess the corny jokes made the show. I wasn’t old enough to appreciate it then though. Here’s an example of one joke:

Junior Samples: I just got back from the cemetery.

Grandpa Jones: Somebody dead?

Junior Samples: Yep, all of em’

See what I mean?

Anyway. Give it a try.

I’m on vacation next week, I have a bunch of personal crap to take care of, and it’s not going away on its on.

I’m not looking forward to any of it. The thing that sucks about it is, it’s all family stuff and that makes it worse.

I’m also thinking about putting in for another managers position at the office. I’ll actually be out of sales and working in distribution if I get it so it’ll be a whole different world to me. To tell you the truth I’m a little nervous about the whole thing and I’m still trying to make up my mind about it.

See ya next time.

Quick update…

It seems that the crypt above Marilyn Monroe is for sale on ebay. You can check it out here. The bidding is up to $4,505,101.00 with five days left on the auction. So, you better hurry if you want to spend eternity on top of Marilyn.

I don’t think I’d care to spend eternity on top of her. I bet she really looks like crap now. I’m just saying.

So, here’s my question, if you had this kind of money would you spend it on something like this? I really think I wouldn’t. How much money do you have to have to spend it on something like this? Good Lord!

Here’s a better question. Who would you like to spend eternity on top of? Would you pay money to have that opportunity?

I heard about this on a coast to coast A.M. podcast. It seems a lady in California is having her husband moved to another location so she can use the money from the sale to pay the mortgage on her current home. Must be a helluva mortgage huh?

Saturday morning after a half-assed attempt at working out and a sausage and egg Mcgriddle. (mmm) I headed to Verizon to get a replacement for my current Blackberry. It had trackball issues, and I can’t have a bad trackball. Ya know?

I’m normally not a “return it” kind of guy unless it’s really screwed up or just doesn’t work, but this thing cost me a small fortune and I won’t accept the smallest imperfection.

I’m still in my 30 day return deal, so I thought I’d pop in complain a little and they’d give me a new one and I’d be on my way.

Well, it doesn’t work quite that way. They took my phone after a little conversation and disappeared into the “back.” About 30 minutes later “the guy” came out and explained I’d have to come back because my battery was dead. WTF? I advised him rather quickly that it had a full charge when I entered the portal that is Verizon, and that couldn’t be true because I don’t tolerate dead batteries in my world. He looked at me dead in the eyes and said “are you sure it wasn’t dead?” I nearly exploded. What kind of question is that?

He quickly disappeared into the secret phone fixin’ place again. During this time a slightly overweight short woman walked in with a phone problem. She told “the girl” that “my phone just stopped working while she was txting.” The girl” looked at it and told her they would check it out and scurried to the back.

A few minutes later she emerged and told the little round lady “it looks like you may have spilled something on it. Possibly gravy?” I nearly crapped in my shorts when the woman replied “well, I was eating when it happened.” “The girl” then went on to explain that Verizon didn’t cover gravy damage under her current contract.

In the meantime, my new Blackberry was given to “the girl” and my name was called. She handed me my phone and apologized for the wait. On my way out the door I checked my messages and noticed that the trackball on this unit was not the least bit functional. I turned around and stormed back in the store and advised her that this phone was in worse shape than the original. She gave me the “stink eye” and disappeared again. She brought me a new one and started the setup. I asked for the phone and told her I could handle it from this point. She gave it to me and after finding this one acceptable I left. This is excatly why I hate dealing with Verizon. Their customer service sucks not to mention they treat new customers better than old ones.

I did find out one thing about myself through this whole ordeal. I’m absolutely addicted to my Blackberry. The whole time I was separated from it. I had tremors, skin rashes, dry mouth and crack sweat. Will someone please help me? Is there somewhere that offers help for Blackberry addicts? I really need to know. Oh! That’s right, I live in the U.S. so I’m sure there’s a Government program available.