My Life In South Carolina

This morning we stopped at McDonald’s to grab a quick breakfast before work. Outside the front door a homeless deaf guy was holding a sign begging for food explaining his many problems leading off with his deafness and homelessness. The guy had the homeless guy backpack was dirty, and smelled a little. He looked and acted the part. I mean, we are in L.A. Right? He was pretty convincing.

I usually don’t believe this type of crapola, I feel like I may be in on a scam or something, but for some reason this guy really got to me.

When I ordered breakfast I ordered two of what I was having. I thought I’d feed the guy it’d be my good deed for the day, or year.

Just as I got my food I turned around and he was leaving with a bag of food someone else bought for him, in an attempt to steal my thunder no doubt . How could they do that? This was my good deed.

The following is no joke. I ran out of McDonald’s to stop him, I wanted him to have my food, it was my good deed for Pete’s sake.

I yelled at him to come back, and got no response. WTF was I thinking, the guy was deaf! Everyone that saw him on the way in knew it, most of them looked at me like I lost my mind or something. I could just see them smirking to themselves, “pfft, tourist” with their snotty L.A. attitudes. The doushe bags.

I’m staying at the Crowne Plaza near LAX. I’m I the only one that finds hotels near an airport more than just a little creepy? I can’t help it, but I do. I feel like I may be propositioned by a “lady of the evening” anytime. Not to mention I feel like there’s a crack dealer on every corner. I don’t know maybe it’s just me and to much TV.

I have more, but that’s all I can type on my Blackberry tonight. I hope I can finish this tomorrow when I can get to a proper PC.

Today I left of Los Angeles, below are some thoughts and observations that I had during my flight. These were written down as they happened, this post may be a little strange. Just stick with it, I’ll have more to add to it.

The night before a trip I usually stay up as late as I can. I do this for one reason. I like to sleep on the plane, because I go nuts just sitting there. Sure, I have a book and my iPod but that only entertains me for a short time. After that I find myself antsy and ready to snap at the slightest infraction by another passenger.

That worked for a while this time, but a five hour flight is just to much. A trip across the country, I would just assume have a short layover to break up the madness. I hate sitting there and breathing in recycled air. I can almost feel the germs entering my lungs. Bleech!

I got to the airport just in time to board the plane, I had to stop and let my co-worker relieve himself on the way. I thought we may have an early morning bowel emergency on our hands, but he made it. That threw us behind as far as catching a bus from parking to the airport itself. After checking in and the security line we got to the gate just as our zone was called.

I hate that, I like to unwind a little at the gate. I need to get a drink and maybe something to eat before boarding. Not to mention the all important full security scan of the yahoo’s I’ll be travelling with that day. You know, just in case I have to turn someone in for looking suspect.

My seat was a window seat as usual, this allows me to stare at clouds and the ground for the entire trip. I can’t travel if I don’t have a window seat. There’s a girl about thirteen in the middle seat that looks like she may have been separated from her family for the flight. The aisle seat is occupied by a man who smells like dirty feet and cheese. There’s always one on the plane, at least my planes anyway.

Ol’ smelly feet keeps trying to push half of his un-eaten sandwich on our little middle seat girl. She keeps say no, but he keeps trying. I feel like she may start crying at anytime, and if her father gets wind of it I’m sure he won’t think twice about kicking his ass. That would be great in-flight entertainment, right?

The bathroom line has started early. I bet there’s fifteen people in line now and were only an hour into this flight. At least ol’ smelly guy is keeping the line moving. He seems to be good at this. I wonder if he pushed that sandwich off on one of them?

The pilot made everyone sit down because we were entering some areas that may be a little “choppy” which is pilot talk for “invisible air bumps.” It wasn’t to bad though, I didn’t see or hear anyone vomit. I hate chop, I scares the crap out of me. It’s really the only part about flying that concerns me.

Tried to sleep again…didn’t work though. Smelly guy has made several announcements across the aisle about his sandwich and it’s available if anyone wants it. I swear I could shove it down his throat.

Time for my bathroom break. Whoops, you need to lock the door lady, if you don’t want someone to open it and see you taking a squat. Man, that was awkward!

I have more to add to this. I hope to finish tomorrow.

Saturday I purchased and downloaded the entire Descendents Cd catalog. I’ve been waiting for months to do it, and finally all the stars aligned and my chance arrived. I have to say I’m pretty jazzed about the whole thing. Can you see me smiling while I type this? You can’t? Well, trust me I am, and waiting for the next sound of pure punk goodness to spew forth from my mp3 machine.

The songs went straight into my iPod (mp3 machine) for my unbelievably long trip to Los Angeles on Monday.

My son has a little extra folding money he’s dying to spend. He went to Lego’s website and shopped a little on Saturday. He tried to drag me into his little web of Lego hell but I wouldn’t budge.

I hate Lego’s, they’re small sharp cornered pieces of torment for me. I either step on them with bare feet, in which case they give me a Lego bruise and a limp like I’m a polio survivor minus the iron lung, or I live in constant fear of one becoming lodged in my ass from a sudden plop down on the couch. You just can’t be to careful with Lego’s scattered around the ol’ homestead.

Lego’s are dangerous people! I feel like the Government may be hiding the true numbers of Lego accidents from us due to the pressure of the Lego lobby, and something must be done about it. Can’t someone please think of the children, or me.

Also on Saturday, my son and I made a trip to the local “Wal-Marts” to find some kind of all-in-one case I could store my iPod equipment in. I just need something that has order to it, ya know? I’m tired of lugging around all sorts of cables and charging utensils in my laptop bag. That craps’ just gettin’ outta control and someone could lose an eye or something. I just need some relief from it all.

After that it was off to Chic-fil-a for one strawberry and one chocolate without whipped cream milkshake for me and the boy. There’s nothing like good milkshake in the summer time and Chi-fil-a has some good uns I tell ya. If only they were made with lactaid all would be fine. I feel a dairy explosion in my future.

One last thing. Go to Jeff Kay’s West Virginia Surf Report and sign up for the mailing list. You want get any spam or anything like that, he’s legit. What you will get is none other than his first e-book, and did I mention it was free? That’s right free! Son of a bitch, I couldn’t believe it either.

Really though, just do what I tell you. The Surf Report rocks. I’ve been a huge fan for about four years now. Just trust me on this one.

So, that’s the way I rolled this Saturday, I live on the edge baby.