This weekend was a total crap out. My manager needed to borrow my truck to move something, so he left me his car and that kind of limited my travel plans.

I’m a nervous wreck in his car, I know how he treats it and I’m not gonna be the first one to put it scratch on it. Which, I’m sure he’d find during one of his weekly car washes and spit shines. If I did, he’d look at me sideways and more than likely talk about me every-time someone brought up a car issue.

God! I want my truck back. 

I had planned to take my son to see “UP” and was really looking forward to it, I’ve heard good things about it, and the trailers seem excellent.

Friday night he started complaining of a sore throat, and it wasn’t long until the fever kicked in. So, needless to say the movie was out.

Saturday morning I got up early and went for a half-hearted attempt at working out, but ended up having a good time anyway.

That afternoon I played around on Hulu, where I got caught up on House and Family Guy episodes that I’d missed this season. I even tried to watch one of the original 1974 Land of the Lost episodes, but gave up about five minutes into it. Oh my God! How did we watch that crap? It’s the worst acting ever.

I guess kids don’t see that though. I mean, if you have a five or six year old movie critic at home, you have bigger problems on the way…so hang on.

I’ve noticed lately we’ve been getting a more than usual amount of calls from “Unknown” and “Blocked Call.”

Let me start by saying this, unknown and blocked. If you’re not gonna show me who you are, I ain’t answering, that’s just the way it works around here. If the crap you’re probably wanting to sell is any good, leave your information and I may get back to you. You just never know.

I’ve been on the Do not Call Registry since the day it went active. I have to wonder who it is on the other end of Unknown and Blocked. I know it’s not a bill collector because I don’t owe anything. It’s to many times a day to be a wrong number. I’m just stumped.

I don’t want to answer for fear of someone on the other end ripping into a sales pitch about the latest Timeshare or Credit card deal. 

Even though, telemarketers give me a bad case of red-ass, andI know I could just hang up when they call, but I hate to. The guy or girl on the other end is just trying to make a living like the rest of us. So, I’d just don’t answer.

Here’s a question after all of this rambling of mine.

Whats the strangest thing a telemarketer tried to sell you over the phone?

I guess mine would be the sandy looking stuff you pour down the toilet to eat all of the crap out of your septic tank, kind of like Rid-X. I also think it came with a subscription to Sports Illustrated.

Leave me a comment and let me know.

I was Released from Jury duty today, and I didn’t get picked for one case. Dammit! On the bright side, I did notice that douche bag was back, smugged faced and pissed. Let me say it again. What a douche bag!

I saw a guy plead guilty to burglary after his defense attorney worked out a deal for probation with the prosecutor. The Judge, apparently in a foul mood from dealing with thugs all week, decided that wasn’t good enough. He worked his Judge magic and BOOM! Three years in prison shot from his gavel. Ouch! That deal fell through in a hurry. After that, I collected my forty bucks and called it time served with the judicial system.

Our city finally reached a size large enough to support a Chick-fil-a. People have been talking about it for months with pure orgasmic tones in their voices. We’re a simple people, but we love our chicken. Mmm…chicken.

I’d noticed on my way to Jury duty each day that there was a growing number of tents in the parking lot of our newest, but yet to be opened eatery. What was this all about?

After a little investigating, I found out that Chick-fil-a runs a promotion at each new store opening. The promotion entitles the first one hundred people in line to a free Chicken sandwich for a year.

Oh, it was a big deal indeed. People came in from as far as Alabama to try their luck at fifty-two chicken sandwiches. It was a party atmosphere, people were cooking on grills, there was music and fellowship and everyone was having a one heck of a time. One of the saddest things I witnessed was that everyone seemed to know each other. That tells me that this was a following. You know, like the dirty hippies that followed the Grateful Dead around. Most of these people seemed clean, so maybe they weren’t like the hippies. I still consider them a following though.

 I just don’t understand it, how can you tell your children that you’re ditching the trip to Disney for a Chick-fil-a opening? That would be like the worst vacation ever. I mean, Chick-fil-a doesn’t even have good toy’s in there kids meals. Their toy’s always have something to do with learning. My son doesn’t want to learn anything on summer vacation, trust me.

You can see the party here and here. Quite a show huh? The weird thing, I passed by there about eight-thirty this morning and the parking lot was clean, no tents or people hanging out. I guess after breakfast they all headed for the next grand opening.

So, here’s a question, have you heard of this type of promotion and if so are there more like this out there?

Thats all for now.

I started my first, of four days on jury duty yesterday. Most people find this to be a major inconvenience, but to tell you the truth I kind of like it. Hey, it’s part of my duty as a citizen of this county so I’m glad to do it. I may be weird, I don’t know or I could be just a little nosey.

My favorite part is arriving first thing in the morning and listening to all the bitchin’ from people about having to be there. After about thirty minutes I’m tired of it though. Come on people get over it, there’s no way out of it.

I heard bitchin’ from people this morning that had never had jury duty before. What gives them the right to bitch? Shouldn’t that be left to those of us who have had Jury duty before and have a right to bitch?

Today I sat beside a woman that was doing her best swine flu imitation in hopes of being sent home. Oh, she was laying it on thick. She tried talking to the Judge, but he didn’t buy it and sent her back to her seat. Then she felt it necessary to tell me the Judge didn’t “understand how sick she was.” You know, like I cared. I think she finally caught on after I ignored her for a solid ten minutes. I didn’t see the first bit of snot so I doubt it was swine flu. I have to give her credit though, she was persistent. I expect she’ll show up tomorrow with the rickets.

When the Judge dismissed all jurors that were not qualified. He read the indictments of the first case and went through the usual do you know anyone involved in this case, etc. The last question he asked was something like, Is there anyone else that doesn’t feel they could serve fairly and honestly as a juror. I can’t quote him because I wasn’t really paying attention until a guy near me raised his hand. It went something like this.

Judge: Yes sir, please state your juror number and name.
Douche bag: Your Honor, I’m juror number sixty and my name Douche Bag.
Judge: Mr. Bag why do you feel that you can’t serve fairly and honestly on this trial?
Douche Bag: Your Honor, I don’t feel as I can serve fairly and honestly because I can’t participate in a trial accusing a man, woman, or child of a crime in which I didn’t see them commit with my own eyes.
Judge: Mr Bag, you are excused from this trial, but I need to speak with you in a few minutes. Do not leave when I release the other jurors.

WTF? Where did that come from?

I guess ‘ol Douche Bag must have been surfing the internet looking for ways out of jury duty and found that little gem. I’ve never heard anything so ridiculous in my life. Again, WTF?

I wanted to say f-you buddy. Would you take that same attitude and smug look if we were in her being picked for jury of a person accused of doing something to you or your family. I don’t think so.

The sad fact is he thought he had really done something. I mean, it was almost as if he were waiting for us to lift him on our shoulders in celebration of such snappy statement. There’s just no way someone with three teeth and ear hair can come up with a statement like that without help. I can even see him rehearsing in the mirror to make sure he nails it when his time comes to “stick it to the man.” 

So tomorrow will be day two. Let’s see how that one goes.